Just some random thoughts

ORIGINALLY POSTED JANUARY 30, 2009

Here’s a collection of random thoughts I’ve had over the past few days… this should give you a nice insight into just how wacky the inside of my skull is!

  • Cerberus, the multi-headed dog in Greek and Roman mythology, guards the gateway to Hades… why exactly does the entrance to Hades need guarding?!?  Are there THAT many people trying to get in? (I actually did some research here… as it turns out, it’s a common misconception that Cerberus guards the gateway… in fact, he guards the gates of Hades to prevent those that have crossed the river Styx from ever crossing back over… he’s making sure no one gets OUT, which makes *A LOT* more sense!) – A bit of trivia: the firewall protecting my home network is named Cerberus 🙂
  • I thought I’d clear this up for anyone who wasn’t sure… Dark Matter n. An invention of cosmologists to explain why the hell their equations don’t work out as they want them to.  To be clear: I’m not at all saying dark matter doesn’t exist… I have no clue whether it does or not. All I’m saying is that the experts don’t have a clue either! All they know for sure is things don’t add up like they expect, and the only explanation they can come up with to explain it is to invent some entity that may or may not exist that makes it all balance out…  Hey, wait a minute… when did scientists get religion?!?
  • Speaking of math… I was on the Tower of Terror ride last year at Disney World, and I noticed something… the flash a bunch of images at you throughout the ride meant to scare you… ghosts and such… but, they also flash E=MC^2 three separate times!  Proof that math is, in fact, scary!
  • I object to any list that has Battlefield Earth on it as a “top xxx worst movies of all time”, as I see all too often. If ever there was a craptacular campfest that is a blast to watch, that’s it. There’s so much unintentionally funny stuff in it that I find it very enjoyable to watch.  For example… Terl’s (John Travolta) conclusion that humans’ favorite food is a rat because that’s what the “escapees” went for right away is in and of itself brilliant because it reminds me of a great joke:  A scientist has a flea. He fires off a gun and the flea jumps. He pulls off one of the flea’s legs and again fires the gun and again the flea jumps. He does this two more times and each time the flea jumps. After removing the fourth leg and firing the gun, however, the flea does not jump. He fires the gun a few more times just to be sure.  The scientist then concludes that fleas hear through their legs.  The rat thing is the same sort of joke, and I find it very funny, as is the case with much of that movie. So, worst xxx film of all time? No way, it’s just good in a way that was in no way, shape or form intended!!
  • I tell my wife this constantly: if you’re attacked and you get the best of the attacker, DON’T F’ING STOP until there’s no way they can physically come back at you. You don’t necessarily have to kill the person, and legally you’re probably better off not killing them, but I don’t know, cutting off both arms and legs seems pretty safe too.  Ironically, I think it was the remake of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre that they tried that and it didn’t work… I might have the wrong movie, but I remember one of the bad guys having a hammer embedded in his brain, and that was only after a bunch of other stuff that would have killed any one of us, and he still got up and came after the hapless victims, so maybe it’s not the perfect strategy in ALL cases 🙂
  • I was asked if I’d go into space, given all the risks involved… I’ll go a step further: I have a wife and two kids, all of whom I love dearly. But, and I’ve told my wife this: if I was ever beamed aboard the Enterprise and the captain (whichever one it happened to be!) said I could go explore the galaxy with them, I wouldn’t even ask to go back down to Earth to say goodbye to my family, I’d just ask “where’s my station, dude?”. Surprisingly, my wife even understands! Not sure my kids would, but that becomes my wife’s problem 🙂
  • Cracked.com rules, and here’s why: http://www.cracked.com/article_15816_5-most-horrifying-bugs-in-world.html … I’ve read it numerous times and I still crack up every time!
  • The latest episode of UFO Hunters (a show most people who know me would think I love, but surprisingly it’s just OK for me… sometimes) they were talking about the rather sudden jump in UFO sighting in Great Britain over the last two years or so.  Now, it all could be real of course, but… might it just be a coincidence that the new Dr. Who has been really popular over just the last few years?  I didn’t watch the whole episode, so I don’t know if any of the sightings were of a flying Titanic or hundreds of evil flying garbage cans, but I’d be willing to bet they were 🙂
  • When I was a kid I snuck to watch the movie Alien and it scared me so bad I slept in my parents’ room for a week.  But, I’ll tell you what: vegetables are 10 times scarier it turns out: http://www.framebox.de/creations/3d/salad/

  • Anyone who says The Temple of Doom is their favorite Indiana Jones movie should promptly be ignored.  If they say Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is their favorite they should promptly be SHOT!
  • I still say Velcro is the long sought-after proof that aliens exist and that we recovered technology from a crashed craft at Roswell… I mean, does anyone actually think us pitiful humans could have invented something this awesome ourselves?!? I think not!!

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